Life: Three Years After Jail
by moviepoopshootfan
Summary: Jerry, Cosmo, George, and Elaine are all split up after getting released from jail.
1. Enter Jerry

DISCLAIMER - I do not own Seinfeld or any other characters. This story is totally fictional and does not express the views of NBC or Jerry Seinfeld.  
  
Jerry - After getting released from jail, Jerry moved out to Los Angeles to pursue his comedy career. He has not had contact with George or Elaine in three years.  
  
Kramer - While in jail, Kramer realized that he should be an inventor, and moved out to Los Angeles with Jerry. They now live in the same apartment building, of couse, across the hall from each other.  
  
George - During his stay in lockup, both of George's parents died in a car accident. He then found out the they had three hundred thousand dollars in the bank. He now lives in an Aspen-like town in Colorado.  
  
Elaine - Got some money from George and now runs a sex toy shop in San Fransico.  
  
2003: Three years after Jerry, Kramer, George, and Elaine got out of jail.  
  
Chapter 1: Enter Jerry  
  
{Jerry's P.O.V.(point of view)}  
  
I woke up with the sun shining in my face. It was Tuesday morning at 8:15. I rubbed my eyes and sleepily walked to the kitchen. "Corn Pops, Corn Pops, Corn Pops, ah ha!" I poured my self a bowl and sat on my couch to watch the morning news. "Hmm, let's check the stocks." I switched to MSNBC just to see that my stock had dropped another five points. "Damn."  
  
When George got his inheritance, he gave Me, Kramer, and Elaine each a thousand dollars. I decided to put mine all into stocks. A lot of good that did. Kramer had used his money to buy supplies for his inventions. I have no idea what Elaine has done with hers. I miss her. She was the highlight of my life and I feel like I'm empty without her. She was always so bright and perky. And the sex with her was always great. I miss her. Everything in my life is the same as it was before I went to jail. Except Elaine and George, it's all the same. I wish I could find her. I could. I should. I would. I will. Yea. I'm gonna go find her.   
  
Right then, Kramer burst in the door like he always does. 


	2. Enter Kramer

DISCLAIMER - I do not own Seinfeld or any other characters. This story is totally fictional and does not express the views of NBC or Jerry Seinfeld.  
  
Chapter 2: Enter Kramer  
  
{Kramer's P.O.V.}  
  
I burst into Jerry's apartment while he was in mid-thought. I could tell this cause he was letting the milk pour out of his bowl and down his shirt. His apartment is laid out just like his old one. With the same furniture and everything. It was like we were on the set of an NBC sitcom. *WINK WINK*  
  
"Whatcha thinkin bout?" I asked.  
  
"Oh, nothin."  
  
"Come on. You were thinkin about something."  
  
"Well, Elaine."  
  
"Ohh. The ex-girlfriend. I can help you find her."  
  
"You can! How?"  
  
"I have connections."  
  
"No you don't."  
  
"Ok, she has three different shops."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yea. You should check them out. Cool."  
  
"I don't think I need to go to a sex toy shop."  
  
"Kay, It's your love life."  
  
"I don't need sex toys. I'm good enough as it is."  
  
"You can never be too good."  
  
"Whatever, where is the main shop?"  
  
End of Chapter 2 


	3. Enter Elaine

DISCLAIMER - I do not own Seinfeld or any other characters. This story is totally fictional and does not express the views of NBC or Jerry Seinfeld.  
  
Chapter 3: Enter Elaine  
  
My alarm went off at 8:30. I looked over to see David Putty laying next to me, snoring, as usual. I wrote him a note and set it on my pillow. I didn't have the time to wake him. I was in a hurry this particular morning so I took a shower instead of a bath. Before jail, I didn't usually take baths, except with Jerry, but after jail, my baths became a sort of therapy for me. The water around me made me feel safe and secure, and at the same time, sensual and alive.   
  
The sex toy shop has given me a chance to get in touch with my body. I have become more sensitive to even the littlest touch or sensation that I've been able to have 5 to even 9 orgasms per session. Putty is still himself but different. After I was released, we were like rabid animals. We ddn't leave the bedroom for almost three days. It was madness. It was then that I realized where I should be.   
  
And that is how I wound up here, selling sex toys in San Fransisco. Sex toys are a very big industry, which brings in the big bucks. But I still feel an emptiness in my life. A void. It can't be filled by any object, vibrating or still. Battery-powered or ribbed. It was an emotional void. One that I couldn't find the source of. I am just lonely.  
  
End of Chapter 3  
  
Many people have been asking me why I haven't made this story very humorous. Ok, not many, but I just want you to think that people read my stories. Well, I wanted to see a more emotional side to the Seinfeld gang. I felt that that hadn't been shown in the series and I wanted to exlore that concept. 


	4. Enter George

DISCLAIMER - I do not own Seinfeld or any other characters. This story is totally fictional and does not express the views of NBC or Jerry Seinfeld.  
  
I know this chapter is short but it sets up the whole plot of the story.  
  
Chapter 4: Enter George  
  
I woke up that day in my hot tub. Last night I had been in it with a young beautiful woman and I made a move, which disgusted her so she left. I then passed out. My life, though filled with money and women, had been very sad since I was released from jail. With the drugs and hookers affecting my career, I had not made any improvement. My stocks were my only income. Luckily I was careful with everything since the first year.  
  
I haven't made any contact with Jerry, Elaine, or Kramer since jail. I had seen Putty about two years ago but I avoided him. I had never really liked him. As far as I knew, Jerry, Elaine, and Kramer were still in New York. I didn't know and really didn't care.  
  
Luckily I had woken up this morning, or I would have missed my flight to San Fransisco. I had to go there to scout out my new buisness location. I was opening a jerky shop. I haad always been a fan of jerky. Turkey Jerky, Beef Jerkey, Chicken Jerkey. I loved it all. I looked up at the clock on the wall and it said 8:45. "SHIT!" I jumped out of the tub and ran into my house. My flight left at 9:30. 


	5. Jerry and Kramer's Drive Part 1

DISCLAIMER - I do not own Seinfeld or any other characters. This story is totally fictional and does not express the views of NBC or Jerry Seinfeld.  
  
This chapter is stupid but I am going to try to keep up with my pattern. It will catch on. Most of the dialouge from this is from a skit Kevin Smith did on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno. I will leave an address at the bottom to the video. This chapter will start at 10:00 AM.  
  
Chapter 5: Jerry and Kramer's Drive Part 1.  
  
{Jerry's P.O.V.}  
  
"Damn traffic," I said "I told you we shouldn't have taken the expressway."  
  
We were caught in traffic on the L.A. expressway. Kramer told me that the expressway would be clear cause it was after rush hour, that what I get for trusting him.  
  
"It's times like this it occurs to me that we were lied to   
  
by "The Jetsons"."Kramer said.  
  
"What are you talking about?"I asked.  
  
"According to that show we were suppose to be tooling   
  
around in flying cars by now. You see any flying cars lately? That's the   
  
problem with TV, it always lies to us."  
  
"Yeah, well most of us rational thinkers weren't banking on a   
  
cartoon to offer us a viable glimpse into the future of technological   
  
development."  
  
"You don't think anyone anywhere is working on the flying car."  
  
"I could care less."  
  
"I gotta believe that there is somebody else out there is   
  
thinking about the flying car besides me. Someone who is not afraid   
  
to throw their hats over the wall for the good of mankind."  
  
"What's that suppose to mean?"  
  
"Throw their hats over the wall. It means committing to doing   
  
something. If more people threw their hats over the wall, we wouldn't   
  
be sitting here in this mess right now. We would be zooming over it in   
  
the flying car."  
  
"I see you have given this alot of thought."  
  
"Kennedy, all right JFK himself. When he was in office, he   
  
stood before the world and promised them a man on the moon within   
  
10 years. Thing is nobody had started working on a space program at   
  
that point. JFK had no data to back up his claims, no inside into the   
  
practicality of space travel. But you know what he had?"  
  
"Marilyn Monroe."  
  
"The man had sac. The man had the sac to stand before the   
  
world and say "Yo, yo get this we're going to the moon." Imagine, if   
  
you and I were the kind of guys who had the sac to stand before the   
  
world and say "Get this we'll all be in the flying car by the end of the   
  
year."  
  
"Do you know you have a one track mind."  
  
"Hey, what would you be willing to trade for the flying car?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Say some German scientist comes up to you and he says 'I   
  
have invented the flying car. I'll give it to you on one condition.'"  
  
"Well, what's the condition?"  
  
"He's not going to tell you."  
  
"Then it's no deal."  
  
"The guy is offering you the flying car."  
  
"Yeah, but there is obviously a catch."  
  
"Who cares what the catch is, it's the flying car. You'll have the   
  
only one in the world."  
  
"And why is this... German scientist"  
  
"Ya, vol."  
  
"Why is he offering it to me for free instead of the car   
  
companies instead?"  
  
"What is this "Murder She Wrote"? Who cares what's behind   
  
the mystery. You going to look a gift horse in the mouth? Just take the   
  
car man."  
  
"Not until I know what the catch is."  
  
"Fine, the catch is you got to cut off a foot."  
  
"No way."  
  
"Are you saying you wouldn't cut off your foot for the flying car?   
  
You're that selfish."  
  
"It's my foot! How am I suppose to walk?"  
  
"What walk? You'll have the flying car. Good God, you could   
  
sell the design and engineering secrets to the car companies and be   
  
a multibillionaire. After that you could buy like 50 prosthetic feet."  
  
"Which foot, right or left?"  
  
"You're choice."  
  
"Ok, I'll trade my left foot for the flying car."  
  
"Why your left foot?"  
  
"Oh, it's got an ingrown toenail."  
  
"Listen to you. A guy offers you the Fire from Olympus that is   
  
the flying car and you trade him a bum foot."  
  
"You said I could pick."  
  
"So it's a deal then, your foot for the flying car. You're sure?"  
  
"Yes, I'm sure."  
  
"You can't welch."  
  
"I won't welch."  
  
"Because the whole world is counting on you."  
  
"Why the whole world all of a sudden?"  
  
"Because the German scientist held a press conference   
  
when he made you the offer. He told the world media once the trade   
  
is made. You can do whatever you want with the flying car. Including   
  
mass marketing an affordable model for consumer purchase."  
  
"What the hell kind of scientist is this guy anyways?"  
  
"One with a lot of free time on his hands and a foot fetish. So   
  
are you in? You going to do the right thing here?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"So it's a deal."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Ok, so then what happens is you find out the guy is going to   
  
take your foot off with a hacksaw."  
  
"What?"  
  
"And no atheistic."  
  
"Aww, screw that!"  
  
"Come on it's part of the deal."  
  
"You didn't say that before!"  
  
"Well, you should of paid a lawyer look over the contract. But   
  
come on, it only hurts when they're taking the foot off. After that they'll   
  
use a local on your stump and cauterize the wound."  
  
"Well why can't I have a local before he cuts it off?"  
  
"Because, he is a sick degenerate that likes to inflict pain."  
  
"You said he was a man of science!"  
  
"You don't think Einstein didn't like hacking guys feet off but,   
  
nobody ever said anything about it because he was one of the great   
  
thinkers of our time. But come on man. Take a hit for the team. It's a   
  
few seconds of pain for a lifetime of riches and zero traffic."  
  
"Fine, as long as I get the local as soon as he is done cutting."  
  
"So you want the local?"  
  
"Who am I, The Marquis De Sade? Yes, I want the local."  
  
"All right."  
  
"Why do you say it like that for?"  
  
"It's just the local he gives you, knocks you out and when your   
  
out he diddles you pennie."  
  
"Oh, come on!"  
  
"Hey man, you made the deal."  
  
"To trade my foot for the flying car, not to be tortured and   
  
molested by some mad German scientist."  
  
"And his friends."  
  
"What?"  
  
"It's just when he is done with you he gives his friends a shot   
  
at you too."  
  
"Deals off."  
  
"What are you some kind of homophobe?"  
  
"No, I just don't want to be diddled by some insane German   
  
scientist and his friends after they've hacked my foot off."  
  
"Need I remind you, this is for the flying car!"  
  
"It ain't worth it."  
  
"See, you're what's wrong with this country, hell with this   
  
world. You're always thinking about your own comfort level. Never   
  
thinking about the rest of us. This country was built on sacrifice and   
  
nearly 30 years of living a life full of selfish foot pampering and   
  
intergender intercourse has made you too soft to throw your hat over   
  
the wall for the good of mankind. And what's worse is, not only do you   
  
ruin it for the rest of us with the flying car, but you completely blow the   
  
notion of American nobility in the process. The children of the world   
  
have no heroic figure to emulate. So the future of mankind continues   
  
on it's downward spiral into entropy and mass extinction until all that   
  
was once great about the human race lies buried in the primordial   
  
stew to which we'll most certainly return. Thanks to you and ill refusal   
  
to reach for the stars and you'll forever be remembered as the sad   
  
footnote in the book of life. The wimpy little scumbag who could of   
  
breached the chasm of becoming and being. But instead opted to   
  
cover his own ass and foot in the process."  
  
"All right! I'll go through with the deal. I'll let the German   
  
scientist hack my foot off. Then him and his friends can have their   
  
way with me. All for the flying car."  
  
"You would do it with a bunch of guys just to get a car. I   
  
thought I knew you man."  
  
End of Chapter 5  
  
Here is the adress to the video.  
  
http://www.viewaskew.com/tv/leno/flyingcar.html 


End file.
